“Hello? is anyone here? Can anyone hear me? My name is Sussana. I’ve been here for three days…i think…is there anyone else here?”
“Shut up. He’ll hear you.”
They say in space no one can hear you scream. That’s also true for the Shot Blogosphere for the past couple of months. Shot’s been in their secret hideout (i.e. someone’s creepy looking basement) and have been concocting new and innovative ways to penetrate your ear and impregnate you with our very potent rock sauce. There’s some major news that i will get to later but first:
SHOT IN BLOGOSPHERE!!!SPHERE…sphere…sphere…sphere…
As Besto Best (who’s the best at everything, according to sources [Besto himself]) said in the last blog, we rocked out Arlenes Grocery not once, but twice. The second show was a packed house, standing room only event, mostly because we stole all the seats. Billy looked like a more in-focus relative of big foot, Hector made love to his guitar and had a bouncing baby six string on stage. Besto aimed his guitar at all the helpless women in the audience and gave them orgasms (one woman was quoted as saying “ill hear what she’s hearing.”) And Roach grew four more arms through force of need and destroyed everyones large intestine with a sick drum solo, requiring everyone to use colostomy bags. All in all it was a great two shows at Arlenes and everylones looking forward to the third installment of the trilogy.
As a representative of Shot, i have been given the unenviable task of apologizing to Westchester, Staten Island, Long Island, and New Jersey for the recent three day rainstorm that ripped 30 year old trees from the earth and crushed houses, cars, and other property. Shot performed at R-Bar on March 6th and its no coincidence that the storm came a week later. Everyone was expecting Shot to destroy large amounts of property with their rock, but in their infinite wisdom and forethought, Shot decided to throw a curveball and inititate the DRD: Delayed Rock Destruction. Its an ancient rock technique where it seems that the show itself didn’t seem to rock too hard, but a week later a massive storm of rock follows and destroys everything in its path. The calm eye of the storm was in Manhattan, which explains why the city itself was untouched in the carnage. Shot, in an unending attempt to shock and awe its fans, employed this rock technique to shocking results. It seems they don’t know their own strength, exhibited by Roach last night when he broke a beer glass with one finger. upon finding out his glass was devoid of anymore beer, Roach gave the glass the finger and it shattered, willing to take his own life rather than deal with an angry and sober Roach. So to those areas that were affected by the storm, Shot is sorry.
::MAJOR NEWS ALERT MAJOR NEWS ALERT::
Roach can i get a drum roll? no with butter please. now i need a rim shot. nevermind…
Shot has found their new bassist. Yes folks, Shot scoured the world looking for a bassist that can rock as hard as they can and they’ve found him. From the moment he plucked the first string, Shot knew this was it. The amp cried for mercy, but he gave it none. The music wanted more and he gave it all he got. He has the speed and the power the likes of which you have never seen. With a magnificent mane that is the source of his bass power, he has joined Shot to complete the circle and battle the forces of rock evil with his thunder bass. His name you ask? Straight from Spain its Grasebo.
Where Shot was once four, now they are five. This is only the beginning.
Now for the best part of Shot in Blogosphere: Shot at the movies! I had the pleasure, or displeasure, of seeing Avatar in the last couple of weeks. There was a lot of hype going into this movie, James Cameron’s first movie since Titanic, the effects and graphics, etc. there was a high bar to attain in this movie and the verdict is meh. The graphics are amazing and visual style is definitely stunning, but the story lacked any originality whatsoever. I left the movie feeling a little disappointed that all these visual effects were wasted on something i had already seen in the past. So i give it a C+. if you like stunning visual effects and want your eyes to pop out of your head with wonder, then this is the movie for you. if you enjoy story driven and plot in your movies, then its a dud.
With the new addition of Grasebo into the fold, the blogosphere will be updated regularly now so keep an eye out. also keep an eye out for the next Shot show. You never know when they might be coming for you next.
Good night and good luck…
